Why I Stepped Away

And Why I’m Back

Sometimes you just need a break—to step away and regroup. So that’s what I did. I was on vacation from June 16th to July 2nd. Before I left, I scheduled a few LinkedIn posts. After the helicopter and airliner crash in D.C. was blamed on “DEI” by President Trump—before the investigation had even begun—I promised myself I would speak up at least once a week. I launched a Substack so I could dig deeper into the issues that matter to me.

I was already frustrated by the direction the Secretary of Defense is taking our military, particularly his attitudes toward women in service and women in combat. I felt a need to speak up for the people still serving—those who aren’t allowed to be “political,” even when policy changes directly affect them.

But last week, I didn’t write. I meant to. I had topics lined up. But I didn’t have it in me. And that’s okay.

I’ve recommitted to weekly Substack and LinkedIn posts—but I needed that pause. And I want to tell you why.

When I retired early from Southwest Airlines in 2020, I didn’t fully grasp the emotional toll that decades of working in a male-dominated industry had taken on me. I spent over 35 years in aviation. When I left the Air Force, I thought the civilian world would be more welcoming. It wasn’t.

Some people still refused to shake my hand when introduced. I was asked by passengers what my “qualifications” were. I was routinely mistaken for a flight attendant. Mechanics would walk past me to talk to my First Officer. It never seemed to stop.

Retirement allowed me to breathe. To choose who I interacted with. To stop feeling like I was constantly carrying the burden of representation—of having to be an ambassador for all women in aviation. I started to heal. I relaxed. I slept better. I began to reconnect with the gentler parts of myself that aviation had pushed into hiding. And to my surprise, I didn’t miss flying—even though I had dreamt of it since I was four years old.

I was happy being semi-retired. I was content to leave the battles to the next generation.

But then I was called to re-engage.

Writing these posts has sometimes felt like tilting at windmills. What impact can one retired pilot have on the Department of Defense or the aviation industry? Why open myself up to trolls who don’t even attempt to understand a different perspective? Why re-live painful memories of breaking barriers and paying the price?

Because I care.

I care about my sisters and brothers still serving. I care about the Constitution and the principle of separation of powers. I care about our allies. I care about immigration and the American Dream. I care about the future that my son, nieces, and nephews will inherit.

And yes—I still believe we can heal as a country. That we can find our way back to each other. That we can be, again, a shining example of decency and progress in the world.

But how?

First, we need to rediscover respect—for people who think differently. Respect doesn’t mean agreement; it means recognizing someone’s full humanity. Without it, dialogue and understanding become impossible.

Second, we need critical thinking. We need to question the sources of our information, consider who benefits from what we’re being told, and get out of our echo chambers. If you watch Fox News, try watching CNN. If you prefer MSNBC, give another network a chance. Most of what divides us is not about what’s good for the country—it’s about how to get there.

Third, we need empathy. Empathy helps us grieve without blame. It helps us see immigrants as people seeking better lives for their children. It helps us understand the struggles of transgender people without rushing to judgment. It helps us recognize the unique burdens faced by “firsts”—the first woman, the first Black leader, the first openly gay service member. And it reminds us that even if we aren’t racist, sexist, or homophobic, we may still carry biases that affect our decisions.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.

I’m committed to fighting for the country I believe in—and the future I want for the next generation. I may need a break now and then. But I’m not going anywhere.

If there are issues you’d like me to explore, let me know.

In solidarity,
Coach Betty